i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
