the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
this boner is exhausting
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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