...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
