Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
