I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
