I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
