So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
