Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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