the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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