How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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