I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
