Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
