it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They are going to name an STD after you.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
