she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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