what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
