Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
