Your face is a jimmy john
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
