you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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