I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
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