i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
