what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
