Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
