i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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