She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
