i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
