Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
