I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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