Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
