So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
