ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
