what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
