and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize