I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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