My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
