THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
