problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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