I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i think i just lost a toe
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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