You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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