Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The cops high fived after they tackled you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
