Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
