Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
