if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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