he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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