Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize