I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My vagina just clenched in fear
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
