sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
