am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
