the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
