Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
