Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
