my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
