What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
