i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
