I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
