he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
did you just send me my own nude
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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