If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
