oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
