Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize