jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
