so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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