MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
