.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
