Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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