Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
