I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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