I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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