so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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