A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
