Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize