thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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