whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
well I can't set my house on fire every night
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
