Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
