i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I still have a little drunk in my system
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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