I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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