a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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